Worse news

This morning as I was getting ready for work, Tony called and said the staff would be doing a prayer service for Mkhululi this morning and wanted to make sure I would be there. Since umfundisi and Edwin, who is also ordained, are both out of town, leaving me the only half-way pastorally trained person present, I was asked to lead the group in a prayer.


As Tony informed everyone of why we were gathered, he said that Mkhululi had died of his injuries late last night. I had no idea, but I then had to pray seconds after the news had been broken to me. My chaplaincy experience has given me good practice at praying on the spot, and especially at knowing how important it is to acknowledge the shock of moments like this, the fact that there is no way to make sense of it. Now, I was feeling that shock, that incomprehension, myself. This is the time to call out to God in mourning, in disbelief -- not the time for comfy theological answers. Afterwards I went to Mkhululi's house, saw his mother and family, and the members of Siyaya who were all gathered there, huddled together in complete silence. I did not break the silence. There are no words to say at that moment.


I was pretty shaken up by seeing Mkhululi yesterday, and I shed a few tears thinking about him last night. And now he is dead. It is a memento mori, a reminder that death comes to us all, even when we are young and invincible. We are so fragile. It puts small challenges that have caused me stress over the past week into perspective. Calling cards didn't work, I got stuck in traffic, I got cut off and cussed out, I got lost in the townships, I lost my phone, I got robbed by two kids (who took my new phone!), my camera stopped working, the console of my car fell off inexplicably, etc. As all these things were happening I told myself, "You can't be defeated by this stuff. They are annoyances. It is a blessing that these problems should be hardest things you are facing."


Umfundisi comes back to town tomorrow, and I'm sure I'll be meeting with him to discuss pastoral care of everyone affected. The funeral will probably not be until weekend after next, giving extended family time to come into Cape Town. Here is the picture of the guys at Mzoli's again. Mkhululi is in the middle in the pink. He wore pink just about everyday. He was very confident, and it seemed nothing could stop him.